“My life was in limbo and something had to change”
For a long time I felt like something was missing in my life. There was an empty void and I felt so unfulfilled. I had so many ideas and ambition but no outlet to unleash all my creativity. My life was in limbo and something had to change. It was around this time I discovered the world of blogging. Of course I already knew what a blog was, I just didn’t know the extent of the community, in particular the beauty bloggers. I started watching the likes of Carli Bybel and Zoella. Suddenly I had this fire brewing inside of me. I wanted to start a blog, I wanted to create inspiring content and connect with others who shared the same passion.
“I felt like I was just asking for abuse”
One courageous day I decided to hit publish on a post that had been sitting in my drafts for a while. I was so nervous, my heart was racing. I sat with my laptop on my knee constantly refreshing the page to check for comments. My mind was flooded with thoughts of self doubt and thinking of every possible negative outcome. I had posted photos of myself on the internet, wrote something and put myself out there, I felt like I was just asking for abuse. Expecting a herd of trolls to be insulting me just because they could, but that didn’t happen. Instead, complete strangers from around the world were liking my content and giving me compliments. They were being actually being nice, a lot more supportive than people I knew in my real life. Of course after that I was on a high. Expecting the worst from people because that’s all I’ve known.
“It was just the voices in my head”
Before I had started my blog, I felt isolated from the rest of the world. I had deactivated my Facebook and didn’t use any other social media. People on the internet were all keyboard warriors and had nothing nice to say, everyone is fake, pretending to lead these perfect lives whilst looking down on others. That’s what I was lead to believe. I knew if I wanted to make a success of my blog I had to have an online presence. So the social media accounts I had avoided for over a year were all reactivated and I joined the world of Instagram. I had gotten so use to my anonymous life that being online felt so alien to me. All of a sudden people could see me what I was up to, who I’m talking to and have a glimpse into my life. The feeling was like walking into a classroom late and everyone would look up and watch you walk to your seat. Obviously I was being paranoid. I’m not Beyonce, most people won’t care to look through my profile and stalk me. It was just the voices in my head that had been feeding me negative thoughts for so long.
“I’m giving my energy to producing a blog I can be proud of”
I’ve been active on my blog for two months now and haven’t looked back since. I really enjoy making my own content and blogging has allowed me to express myself freely, explore my creative side. I never knew how much I loved photography until I started taking photos for my blog. Creating flat lays is a particular highlight for me. People around me have noticed a change in me too. When I have free time I’m not moaning I’m bored or sat doing nothing but over thinking. Instead, I am sat at my desk writing posts and interacting with other bloggers. Rather than focusing on the negative thoughts, I’m giving my energy to producing a blog I can be proud of. There’s always a sense of accomplishment when I’ve finished a post, which would uplift anyone’s spirit.
For me, blogging has provided me with a beacon of hope. I’m not as useless and as worthless as I thought. I can achieve something. I feel accepted in a community where I can engage with like minded people. Things will only get better from here. I hope you’ve enjoyed my ramblings and if your thinking of starting a blog but you’re too nervous, just go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? Thanks for reading XOXO.